It was the Summer of 8th grade, and I remember it as if it were yesterday. Sitting in the park while soaking up the warm radiant sun, that is until my worst nightmare had beckoned upon me. It was like that perfect Summer's day had turned into something awful. In my world the clouds had turned into a foggy dreary grey, darkening the world around me, and there was nothing that I could do to stop it. My heart skipped a beat with every moment that passed, wishing that a miracle would happen so I didn't have to face this dreaded fear of mine. My palms dripped with sweat. I swear I could feel my pulse in my throat clenching tighter, and tighter I could barely breathe. I had avoided unnecessary conflict with this person far to long. It was time to face the music. Too bad this music has no end.
Definitely kept attention by not revealing what exactly was going on and it made me engage in the story even further. Good usage of pulling the reader in. (:
ReplyDeleteI really like the ending sentence (: The passage really left me with an image. I know that I can relate to this whole-heartedly, and it sounds as if this memory is etched into stone. I like it (:
ReplyDeleteI also really like how you don't really reveal what's going on, it helps create a mysterious feeling. The last sentence is also great, I like it.
ReplyDeleteWoah.... Amazing... Good work. ^^ I agree with these comments fully.
ReplyDeleteYour writing created a mental picture in my head and I really wanted to know what the darkening was about. Good job :)
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